i so fan...

I so fan... Can someone help me... i cry almost everyday...

i don know why will like that...

thing happen one wfter one... my father after 10 time treatment, he become another person. now he is okies.. as back to normal... everyone of my friend or aunti, uncle ask me, how is my father, all i can said is like that lor...

i don know how to tell them lor, then as 4 my brother.. he is getting better as he change better, as he know that he need a job n earn $$. but i dom know why thing happen one by one.. as now he jus told me that he don know wat to do... he don know he wan to work mah... haiz... u know i ver stress...? i am trying to solve thing one vy one lor... i don know wat u wan brother... i am helping u ... i never blame u for anything... i jus wan u to get a stable job.. that all.. the least slowly by slowly lor..

i also trying to find another job liao... as 4 mon to fri.. if not.. like bring home n work wan lor.. on pc or web... casue i don know i can support till when lor... sometime i really feel like don wan to care for so many thing.. but haiz.. everything is no choice wan... i am still learning n hoping for the best...

Now all i can do is pray for my father for the best n prepare for the worst lor...
as for my brother... u have to be on ur self... i cant help u much liao... u have to help ur self... i know people look down on us... we have to proof to them that we r not... u don look down on us like that lor... n not made people look down on us more lor... u know i alos own outside people $$$.. but no choice.. i think i will own outside more $$ liao.. as i really don have spare $$ or any saving liao... jus hope that my friend will understand my problem now.. as i will return them wan.. cause this $$ is not mine.. but have to give me time to return.. i don know i need how long time to return u guy.. :) let me setter my father thing first.. n i jus wan him to be happy throught out the time he had lor

pei seah to all my friend.... n hope u guy understand... :)

why life have must up and down...

its so fan.. problem come 1 by one...

so sian... all in 1...

why.. i give 1 way.. people will jus take that way...

my father had go 4 the treatment on head liao... A 10 day, etreatment, the first day scare us... but in the end i have to addmit him in to A&E again... with fever 39, cant walk.. n cheat n lung injection.. i thought everything will be alright.. but i was wrong.. haiz.. the 2nd day for his treatment, i take leave again, i company him go again.. n is better on from his 1 day treatment, then i told my mother the least of the treatment.. she company my father.. since i think i don need to take leave.. unless ver urgent liao...

my father till got 5 more to go.. but i was worry... haiz.. no choice, i got a scarely feeling...

don know how to tell... i will be looking for part time job.. as i can earn more...
also can let me work till i don need to think so much...

thanks boss... i took so many leave here n there... n u never said anything... thanks 4 urs understanding...

this year, my birthday... i ver ver sad.. i got a early unhappy birthday present...
why thing will become like that... i really don know how to said... word n thing that i have keep in my heart... i don know how to said... anyway, u never ever treasure me... my heart really die liao... may be people should put into my shoes...
sian... everything is over...!! no point of saying anything...

those who wan to see me die... i tell u.. i will not die so easily...
i will be living better than u...

i will work hard for a better life...

Bad luck.. go as far as u can... Find a better owner than me... haha...

I hate 16/07/2009, this day. Let me know alot of thing...

my father fall down on the monday, i ask him to go see doctor.. or i took him to tan tock seng hospital. He don wan. He finally agree to go when he, himself also saw his leg abit swollen after the fall.. i took urgent leave on tuesday,and bring him to tan tock seng. he ask me to ask one of his brother to bring him go cause he got car, i called my uncle. n my uncle told me that he will fetch us home, ask me to call him after my father was done. but too bad that my father had to addmit to hospital.

cause the monment he step down from the car... still okies but the first step that he took.. he fall down again, made me stone that i don know what to do.. i push a wheel chair and ask person to help me to let him sit on the chair... i push him to A&E department.. they said my father sugsr level is low.. have to addmit to hospital.. i told my father that he need to addmit but he sadi he wan to go home.. i told him cannot, casue his sugar level is low, afraid that he may fall again...i thought everything should be alright, but i am wrong.

on Wednesday, after work i go see my father and the nurse complaint to me about my father that on monday night he never sleep and walk around... i was thinking that he don wan to stay on hospital, then the nurse talk to me infront of my father, my father in front of me scold the nurse to go and die.. i was stone when he said this.
actually i find him strange last week.. so i try to take note on him but i feeling was stronger when on tuesday i was the way he act... i go find the small doctor n talk to her, when she also said she also notice of my father change.. she sadi she will tell the doctor about it.. i told her to ask the in charge to call me..

On the thursday, around 5pm, i received a call from hospital, the small doctor said that my father head got a thing the cancer may be had spread to the brain.. they will go for the scane again. to confrim.. i was infromed that his cancer has already spread in 2007, he took the treatment to maintance it.. and he never tell us about it. the small doctor said may be he don wan us to worry, my father told me before that he worry about us, if he is not around.

Today is a Sad Day.

Sad Sad Sad. Boss 2day last day. Haiz...
Tear Cant Stop. My Heart is pain... as a good boss leave like that.
How i wish that if he never left the company... and still my boss...

i know i can still can meet up or this.. but the feeling is not the same.. as if i don wan to meeting with the top management as not importance thing.. i can tell my boss.. he can do something about ut.. but now.. haiz.. i cant said anything... with the NEW MANAGEMENT...

Don know the NEW MANAGEMENT will be like what lor... :)

he can now said to me that he will try his best to treat me as wat my ex boss like me.. haiz.. don know true anot or testing on me.. to tell him thing lor...

Now i only can take 1 step and go 1 step lor.. :)

i miss my EX kimgae salon staff, manager and my EX ph staff , boss lor....

BOss told me that life have to go on... but i think i need time to turn everything over to my life first.. :)


i jus 想回到原点


stop here.. will continue when i am free... :)

我好想回到原点.

i don know how to said the feeling... i jus wan to cry... i don know i am fan of wat...

i don know how to said... i jus 想回到原点.

我好想回到原点.

我的原点.

俞于自己的world 和原点。

cant talk out the thing.

haiz,... there is a lot of thing that i cant talk it out... but i have no choice 2.haiz, all i can is.. to let go everything. now n forever ba. thing had areally happen let its be happen.. don made thing so uneasy lor.. right..? i think some people who read my blog.. know wat i saying lor... right..?

haiz.. now is not i don wan to take the frist step liao.. is people don wan to cointiuned the step as i take the first step lor.. :( wat should i do... i think leave it liao.. don care should be the best way...


haiz.. i don know... A lot of thing had happen... i don know la... feel so stress out...

i don care.. next monday going to enjoy..... if my frienz can lor.. :)

Decide to blog after so long.

never blog so long... so decide to blog and write how i feel this past 1 week..

life had been tough 4 me.. i don know how to tell him lor... let life past on like that lor... haiz... should i let it be or jus like that? or should i listen to gor that talk 2 him?

may be thing will happen also my fault ba.. haiz...

i don know.. i feel so fan....

God can some 1 cheer me up..? so fan..

Am i treat friend 2 hard? i expected friendship hard?

if there is another chance, will i still help him?

my ans is yes, i will.. no matter wat happen. to me.. he is a friend that i will help him no matter wat. gor told me that help a friend don expect that they will return u back.. its true. i agree.

but its hurt me lor.. :( u know pain..? when u treasure the friendship. haiz.

how come some people can treat friendship like no big deal like that? sorry i cant lor... :)

no matter wat.. life have to carry on.... all i can said this treat the as a test that god give me 4 this friendship lor... :(

Cheer for a better 2morrow n no more fan day. :)